Teeth Whitening with Rembrandt 2 Hour Whitening Kit


As I ease myself into the girly lifestyle, I’ve started to become more aware of the maintenance routines I haven’t started. I cut my hair only when it’s absolutely necessary. I never get manicures. And I rarely worry that my teeth aren’t white enough.

A recent visit to my dentist got me thinking about that last one. As always, I got the pitch for the latest dental procedure that would knock my socks off. This time, it was teeth whitening. Now, I can’t bear the thought of spending close to a week’s salary for teeth a few shades brighter… but I could consider a home whitening option.

At the drugstore a few days later, I swung by the toothcare aisle. I’d used Crest Whitestrips years ago, probably after facing a similar pitch from a dentist, and had pretty decent results. Who wants to wait 2 weeks for sparkly teeth, though? The Rembrandt 2 Hour Whitening Kit was similar in price, but oh so appealing in time savings.


The Rembrandt whitening kit aims to provide a luxury tooth care experience at home. The instructions - carefully typeset and printed on quality paper - even state “… you are about to embark on the short journey of whitening your teeth.” I waste no time preparing for my voyage by changing out of my pjs and into something slightly more presentable.

The tooth whitening process begins with the task of molding two plastic trays into an imprint of your mouth. A quick dunk in hot water is enough to soften them, and I found it pretty easy to shape them to fit.


It got even easier from there. The whitening procedure involves filling the trays with one-use capsules of whitening gel, waiting 20 minutes, rinsing, then waiting 10 minutes before starting all over. I completed my two hours of lather, rinse, repeat; looked in the mirror; and saw…

No change.

I swear, my teeth are the exact same shade they were before the 2 hours and approximately $30. The steps were so simple and clearly spelled out, I can’t think of what I might have done wrong. Maybe I have different enamel than others? Maybe I drink so much Diet Coke there’s no turning back? Either way, I can’t recommend Rembrandt for anything other than possibly creating a fake mouthguard to wear to your next boxing class (and even that’s questionable).

Ratings
Ease of use: 9 out of 10
Girly results: 1 out of 10
Worth the money: 1 out of 10
Worth the time: 1 out of 10

Overall rating: 1 out of 10

July 7, 2008 | Filed Under Reviews 

Comments

2 Responses to “Teeth Whitening with Rembrandt 2 Hour Whitening Kit”

  1. Amy on July 9th, 2008 2:49 pm

    Not to sound all conspiracy theorist, but I think this is one of those things that Hollywood has made us feel we “need.” All those people on TV have such white teeth! Not to say that I don’t want whiter teeth myself and have not considered the $300 home whitening kit from my dentist even though the receptionist says my teeth are already pretty white. But I know braces, diet coke, and coffee have taken their toll. Anyway, thanks for potentially saving me $30.

    On a related note, the last time I got a haircut was November 2007. If I need to look nice, I just put my hair up so no on can see how shaggy it looks! I hate paying $75+ for just an average haircut out here. And I feel very uncomfortable in beauty salons surrounded by women who I’m pretty sure are a different species from me.

    The only manicure I ever got was in Girl Scouts when I was 8 and I won a prize. Pedicures I’m actually scared of.

  2. Melanie on July 9th, 2008 10:56 pm

    Amy, I’ve started going to those Floyd’s Barbershop places. Definitely not girly. They do a good haircut for women, but there are far fewer supermodel-type gals in there. Oh, and it’s cheaper than the other places, too.

    Manicures and pedicures freak me out, too. I may have to find a stand-in girl for that post.

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